ı thınk ı may be weırd

I THINK I MAY BE WEIRDToday started like any other week-day. I got up, showered, got dressed and went into the kitchen to prepare mine and my wife?s breakfast. At six-thirty I went back to the bedroom and woke her.We had breakfast, I took her lunch and dinner down to her car, (she has a class tonight and won?t be home for dinner) wished a good day.It was like any other day until finally it dawned on me that it wasn?t like any other day. She wouldn?t be home until 8:30; this would be a party day. Party day after I did some deck staining that is.I retrieved my dope form its hiding place and loaded up a bowl. I fired it up three times. I wanted to get stoned. The down side of the wife being gone for so long is that I will probably smoke a week?s worth of dope in one day. Well fuck it, and so be it, I wanted to have a good day .Appropriately prepared I went back upstairs to the computer room which is actually a bedroom that we call the computer room because that?s where we keep the fucking computer which is why we call it the computer room. It?s actually just a bedroom though. I sat down in front of the computer and turned it on. I googled Sheerio, which is a lingerie site I like. Okay I know, it?s not the hot shit best quality site, but it gets me started in the morning. I like lingerie. No the Hell, I love lingerie. I love wearing it, fucking in it, fucking a woman in it, just jacking off in it, I would like to fuck a tranny in it or get fucked in it. Having said that, I?d just like to get fucked by my friend Dan, but that?s another story. (Hint: A Homosexual Seduction in Progress.) I checked out the models, nothing really new. I began rubbing my flaccid cock while I checked out the Hispanic looking chick, who is currently my favorite, in her poses wearing a bra and pantie set, with a waist clincher/garter belt and stockings. She always looks so fucking hot.Then it was on to Pornograph.jp for my daily Asian fix. Nothing new there, or on Graphis, so I moved on to Xhamster. I checked out my PM?s and news then I went to Recommendations. Xhamster thought I was really interested in Lesbian older/younger videos, which I am so I checked a few out. They weren?t getting me warmed up until I saw a French chick that does really good anal. I opened that one, added it to my favs, minimized it and set it off to one side of my monitor.I went back to the home page and checked out the bisexual section, nothing there, on to blow jobs. Nope. Just then I got a PM from Phillymark1, a CD, bisexual I have corresponded with and wanted to chat more with. (Oh fuck I dangled a participle, well Grammar cops go fuck yourselves. If you?re successful, let me know how you did it.) Dangling participle aside, we exchanged a few comments in the form of Xhamster?s censorship policies. I went back to my search for some porn to light me up. I hit gay porn, I?ve been getting into cock sucking videos lately and found a couple of gay videos that I liked and added them to my favorites. I jacked off, hit precum, which I licked up immediately. My cock got so stiff watching the two actors sucking each others cocks, fucking each other in the ass, doing what I wanted to do. Finally I lost control and my orgasm exploded into my hand. I ate it.Satisfied with my morning orgasm, I changed clothes and went out to the deck. I got set up and began my adventures in deck staining. It?s not the deck it?s the uprights. I worked the stain into the uprights for four hours. The heat was starting to get to me and I decided to quit before I got too hot and tired. I got to a good stopping point, cleaned up and went inside. I went into the garage and found my stash again. I did a few bowls and went upstairs. This is where I got a little weird. I wanted to fuck myself in the ass with my dildo. I took my clothes off. I walked around the house naked. Imagining Dan and me naked, playing with each others cocks. I decided I was committed to fucking my ass. I went into the bathroom. I ran the sink with warm water and washed my hands over and over making a soapy solution in the sink. I took out my enema bulb and filled it with the warm soapy water. I gained insertion into my ass and filled my bowel with the warm water solution. I emptied my bowels into the toilet and then repeated the process until I saw a clear solution. Finally, I inserted a hemorrhoid suppository in my ass. Now it was time to prepare the room. I covered the chair in front of the computer with plastic wrap. Then I sprayed the plastic covered chair with cooking spray. I went back to the kitchen and poured a small quantity of peanut oil into a ramekin. I returned to the bathroom and lubed my ass with the oil, I finger fucked myself as deep as I could then I removed my finger and smelled it. No odor what so ever, I loved my ass when I was perfectly, porn movie clean.I covered my dildo with oil and pressed it into my anus. My sphincter would not allow it to penetrate me. I finger fucked myself some more, adding more lube, my need for my dildo was urgent. I wanted to be fucked in the ass. Over and over I added lube and pushed my finger deeper inside me alternating with the dildo. Finally I achieved full penetration with the dildo. I went back to the computer room and sat down on the oily, plastic covered chair. I brought up some gay porn on Xhamster. I masturbated, ate precum, edged, and ate more precum. I wiggled my ass, moving the dildo inside me. I masturbated to the gay porn imagining I was being butt fucked by Dan. Imagining how I would seduce him, how I would kiss him and whisper in his ear that I wanted him. Asking him if he wanted my cock, telling him I wanted his.Then my orgasm came, I exploded in ecstasy, but I gripped my cock as hard as I could stand, containing my release until finally I granted it exit and my joy sprayed over my chest. I enjoyed the feel of the dildo inside me. I reached down and pushed the plastic cock as deep inside my ass as I could. I continued to pull my cock, my erection still standing. I massaged my prostrate. Then my urge satisfied I got up and removed the dildo from my ass. I returned to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I felt good, better than I had in weeks.I asked the image in the mirror, ?Are you fucking weird??