I never thought it would actually happen

It had been a long time since I took this trip. My regular road trip to destination nowhere and back home without what I came for. Maybe, I should fill you in on exactly what I?m talking about. Ever since I can remember, I?ve been somewhat sexually curious. In my short life of 19 years, I?ve been with a fair share of women. Some of them very attractive, some of them were bigger, white ones, brown ones, you name it. Don?t get me wrong, I love women. Love them. Every so often, however, I would wonder what it would be like to be with a man. I tried to satisfy with urge looking at porn, but seeing two guys together really grossed me out. I had no attraction to even ?good looking? guys. It just didn?t appeal to me. I guess what did appeal to me was the idea of taking it, of not being in control and giving in to the will of someone stronger than me. I liked thinking about someone using me, fucking me with no regard for anyone?s pleasure but their own. I?ve tried letting women dominate me, or I?d let them do a little ass play, but when it came down to it, I was just too strong to ever actually not be in control. I would jerk of thinking about, but I knew I could never actively pursue it. I still considered myself straight. To go out and find a guy to do this to me would be like admitting I was gay. I wasn?t ready for that. I wanted someone to just do it. I didn?t want to role play. I wanted it to be real. I?d try talking to guys on the internet but I was always too timid to admit my sick fantasy, or I would chicken out when it came time to meet. After a few months of this, I had devised a way to indulge this urge without my secret ever being revealed or coming back to ruin my life as a straight man. I decided if I just put myself in situations where it was possible, if I really stacked the odds, I could play the role of victim and never have to admit that I secretly liked it. So every so often, I would take a little road trip late, at night. I had to go pretty far away from where I lived just to keep from the odd chance that I?d run into someone I knew. I?d drive to places that would normally creep me out. I?d head to rest area bathrooms, there were 3 shady ones on the trip, and two truck stops. The farthest stop was an old truck stop that still had the gymnasium style showers. Now these were mainly for truckers get cleaned up on long hauls, but I just told the old man behind the counter I was traveling to be with my girlfriend and didn?t want to stink when I got there. Assuming there wasn?t a line of truckers waiting to get in, he?d oblige. Of course there never was, not at the hour I went there. Nothing could happen if there were a lot of people there. So I would make this trip, pretend to use the bathroom in each stop, and when I got to the old truck stop I would get in the shower, then if nothing happened that night, I would finish by jerking off in one of the stalls. I tried everything. I would drop my soap, ?accidentally? (very purposefully) get caught sneaking peeks at truckers? cocks and act embarrassed about it, let them outwardly leer at me and pretend not to notice or feign embarrassment when I?d catch them looking at me and even turning my back to them to let them watch me overly soap up my ass crack. You would think, with all the terrible stuff you here about these places, and the collection of older, loser truckers that hang around, surely something would happen. I had done once or twice a month for about 6 months and the most I would get were guys eye-fucking me or the occasional lewd comment. I was too afraid of what could happen if tried to make something happen and the guy turned out to be straight. I needed them to just take me, right there. They would have to be open to the idea that maybe no doesn?t always mean no. I know it?s totally counter-intuitive, but I needed that alibi to help convince me I was straight. I wasn?t sure if I would actually like it if it really happened, but the thought of it turned me on so much. So after months of this, I was starting to think people just weren?t deviant enough to take advantage of me. This trip had almost lost its meaning. Anymore, it was just a chance to clear my head and at least the routine had a happy ending when I would jerk off after a shower. İskenderpaşa Escort

So, I had just got off a day of work, and I hadn?t taken my little road trip in almost a month and a half. I hit all the spots and got to the old truck stop. Nothing out of the ordinary, I got undressed and headed for the shower. When I got in, there was just one other guy there. I had seen him there a few times before. He was older, probably 40 something, fairly overweight, and much larger than me. I did my usual routine. When I got in, I chose a shower head fairly close to him, not right next to him, but closer than normal bathroom etiquette would suggest. I got all soaped up and played sneak a peak with him. He pretended not to notice me as he soaped up his cock a little too much. He was very well endowed and was more playing with it than washing it. I admit, I think I was doing a little more than just trying to get him to catch me peaking. This time, I think I was actually checking him out, and he didn?t seem to notice. I was half hypnotized watching him rub soap all over his huge package. When he still took no notice, I figured I might as well get out before it became way too obvious or I got wrinkles from being in the water too long. I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed for the sinks. I spent several minutes at the mirror pretending to primp myself as I waited long enough for him to get out of the shower. When I got to the lockers, he was already there. We were close, (surprise, surprise since I picked a locker close to the only other one that was locked) as I had my back to him on the other side of the aisle. He had yet to get dressed, and wasn?t near as modest as I. He didn?t bother to wrap up with his towel. He was just standing in front of his open locker rubbing lotion on his arms and body. I went about my business. When I got my locker open, he spoke to me. ?This stuff?s great for the skin,? he said. When I turned around to respond he was already looking at me. He was standing there, stroking his now lotion covered cock. I didn?t know what to say, so I just stood there for a second? staring at it. He caught me again, just like in the shower. I was hypnotized. Obviously, he got the response he was hoping for. ?Want to try it?? he asked, making what I assumed was a reference to his cock, not the lotion. ?Tell ya what. I gotta use the john, so I?ll give you a little privacy.? I responded. It was going to take more than that. I went to the last stall, still in just a towel and my flip flops. He may not have done everything right, but the thought of him taking me still would give me a good jerk. Even though the locks didn?t work, there were 5 other stalls, so I figured I wouldn?t get interrupted. I was thinking of him. I had the thought of him stroking his cock burned into my memory. I closed my eyes and just gave myself a nice slow stroke. I really wanted a good build up to make my long journey at least half way worth it. I was imagining him stroking off looking at my soapy bubble butt. As I sat in that last stall stroking, I became lost in my own thoughts.

That?s when the door swung open. ?Oh shit!? I blurted out. He quickly moved to cover my mouth and pushed my head back against the pipe work. This was no accidental invasion of privacy. ?Listen kid. I?m sick of you comin? in here being a prick tease,? he said sternly. ?You come in here all the time. I seen you lookin? at my shit. I think you like it. You put on your little show in the shower. Then, drive back the same direction you came,? he continued and shut the door behind him. I was really fucking scared at this point. He really caught me off guard. Between him having my head bent back at an awkward angle and his near straddling me, I could do anything to get him off me. I was awe struck enough about getting caught masturbating, but now he was in the stall with me? naked. I didn?t know what to do; I didn?t think it would actually happen. ?If you scream, I?ll strangle you right here,? he hissed at me in a menacing whisper. I just shook my head the best I could with his hand pushing me back. He took his hand off of my mouth, but I kept my head in the same awkward position, staring wide-eyed up at İskenderpaşa Escort Bayan him. That?s when I saw it. His fully erect cock was right in my face. ?What do you want?? my voiced cracked in my fearful state. He obviously got off on my terror as he had a lecherous grin on his face. ?Do it,? he whispered. The words echoed in my head. I knew what he wanted. ?Look. I?m not? I?m not gay.? I tried to convince the both of us. I wasn?t sure I was ready. I honestly never thought this would actually happen. ?Just kiss it,? he compromised and scooted back a little bit. I looked back up at him and back down at it. He was still smiling. I felt disgusting. I leaned forward just a little bit and looked back up at him. ?Just one kiss,? he reminded. God, it was big and I could smell it. It didn?t smell bad, it just smelled like him. It was a warm smell, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I thought if this would make all this go away, fine. So I did it. I kissed the head of another man?s cock. It was different that I expected, softer. It was a very weird sensation, the warmth of it, mixed with that scent, and god it was so soft feeling. I?m not sure what I did, but something encouraged him. ?Now suck it,? he whispered. ?No. I can?t. I told you, I?m not gay,? I stuck to my story. ?You already kissed it, what?s the difference? Do it.? He pressed the issue. He put his hand on the back of my head and slowly moved my head closer. I closed my eyes and parted my lips just a little. When it touched my lips again, I just let it happen. I took it in as he pulled my head onto it. I was sucking his dick now. That soft feeling and the taste of him overwhelmed me. He wasted no time moving me up and down his cock. I don?t know how long he had me doing it, listening to him moan as I did, before I noticed his hand was no longer moving me. Did this make me gay? I was sucking cock on my own. I had dreamed of this. I?d always wondered what it would be like, and now it was happening. I convinced myself he tricked me and I pulled away. ?Look I did what you wanted. Now, please let me go.? I whispered to him. ?Ok, but you took all the lotion off my cock. So put it back on,? he said the words and handed me his bottle of lotion. I looked up at him in disbelief and he spoke ?You took it off when you were sucking it. Just lotion me back up, then you can go.? I don?t know how he had gotten me to go this far. I squirted a bit of it on my hand and nervously extended my hand. When he noticed my timidity, he quickly snatched my wrist and PUT my hand on it. Instinctively, my fingers wrapped around it. This was a crazy feeling. I started to pump it a little bit to disperse the lotion. For some reason, it just felt so much different than holding my own. I continued to basically jerk him off as I applied the lotion until I had even distributed the cream. When I finished, I gave him his lotion and tried to stand up, to let him know I had done all I was going to and I was ready to go. As I tried to slide out from under him, he grabbed under my arm, spun me around and pushed me against the wall.

I heard the bottle fart as he squeezed out more lotion. "Please! Not like this," I pleaded. "Just relax. I'm not gonna do what you think I am." he told me as he laughed to himself. He put his whole hand between my cheeks and I could feel the cold lotion on it. The where a lot of lotion on his hands, enough to probably cover from my knee to my ass. That's not what he had in mind, however. He rubbed it in between my butt cheeks in a motion similar to wiping ass. I tried to clench them together but with all the lotion it was useless. As he lotioned me up, I noticed his focus had shifted to a particular part of my ass. He began to rub his middle finger across my asshole through my clenched cheeks. I wasn't sure how long I could resist him. My ass was starting to cramp and I could feel my strength failing in my glutes. As my protection gave in, he used his middle three fingers to rub circles on my ring. "Boy, you sure are tight back here for what a little slut you act like," he mocked me and laughed. "Please. I'm not..." I started but I was cut off. "You already sucked my cock. Its too late to take it back now," I didn't Escort İskenderpaşa want to believe it, but he was right. He continued to ring my hole when I felt it. His middle finger had penetrated. It wasn't a lot, but he continued to circle the inside, moving a little deeper, slowly. He was corkscrewing into me with his big finger. I tried to squirm but he had me held firmly in place. It wasn't long before I realized he was moving in and out. He was finger fucking me in this grimey bathroom stall. It was such an intense feeling. I could feel asshole clenching and relaxing on his finger. Then, all at once, he pulled out. My ass continued to pucker and open even without anything inside. He obviously noticed and said "Looks like you liked that." I couldn't speak; I was ashamed of myself. "I'm glad. You know it's not rape if you like it," he laughed at his reasoning. I had no reply. With no obvious objection he did something that shouldn't have suprised me but did. With his cock gripped at the base, he began to slap it against my butt cheek. He could have just put it in, but he wanted me to know what was comming. "Please don't do this, not like this," I again tried to plea my innocence. He put his dick in my crevice and just held it there. "Please no. You said you wouldn't," I reminded him of what he didn't forget. He continued to build my anxiety as he started humping me. This is why he wanted me to grease up his pipe. He just slid it up and down my crack, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. "Please no. Please don't," I said, basically speaking to myself as he didn't stop. He pressed a knee inside my legs and forced me into a bull legged stance. "Don't," I weakly spoke through deep exhales. He started to get his weight under me as he humped me. I could feel his shaft pressing into my ass hole with each pump. He took a hold of his cock again, this time closer to the top with a thumb over his head. He positioned the tip on my asshole, but still in the upright position. "Oh god," I said. I couldn't believe what was happening. He put pressure down with his thumb and I felt the pressure building on my asshole. It was like he was trying to squeeze it in sideways. With all the lotion, however, I could offer no resistance and it wasn't long before I felt him slowly squeezing past my threshold as his finger had just moments ago. This was much bigger than his finger though. I felt myself stretch around the fat bulb of his cockhead. When I thought I couldn't be stretched any further he resposition himself. His cock was now perpendicular to me, pointing towards his target. Then he did it. The time for fuck fuck games was over. The teasing, the humiliation, was yesterdays problem. "No, please don't," I was terrified now. He began to lean forward. Then, all at once he just fell on to me, his cock pushed in balls deep and his weight pushed me harder into the wall. "Don't," I started again, but I betrayed myself. "...stop," I said in a sort of moan. He laughed at me. He wasted no time allowing me to get used to it as he started to fuck me. His hand had moved from my arm to the wall in front of me as his other arm reached around my waist. The force of his thrusts and his momentum had me banging the side of my head into the cold tile wall. It didn't take long. He fucked me furiously for about 3 minutes before he started to grunt. He pulled my hips into his and pushed in as deep as he could. He let out a gutteral groan and I felt it. One shot. God it felt like a lot. He grunted again. I felt the second jet. Another groan as he shot again. I felt 4 shots inside me and what felt like 10 ounces of semen. He held it there for about 5 seconds after he finished. Then all at once, he pulled out, turned and walked away. I stood there, in the position he left me in, for several seconds trying to regain my composure. I could feel his cum spilling out of me and running down my leg. I couldn't believe what just happened. I sat down on the toilet, lost in my thoughts, reliving what had happened just minutes ago. I sat there for about an hour. Ashamed, I cried. I was just raped. He made me help him do it. I didn't think it would be like this. I hated him, and I hated myself. I cried as I drove home that night.

For the next couple of months I found myself often unable to sleep and I would cry often. I was humiliated. I was taken advantage of. I was so disgusted. It was the worst experience of my life. That's why I can't understand why I found myself driving back to that lonely truck stop.