Two Phone Calls

I replace the receiver of the phone back into its base. I watch my hand, surprised to see it steady. I sit quietly on the edge of the bed for a few moments. I stare unseeing at the phone. Everything I believe in suddenly called into question. My reality and whether or not I can trust my own memories, mind and judgment. All changed with the simple ring of a phone.This was the second call I had received in less than a week to challenge my feelings and memories. Let me start with the first one.I arrived home from work last Friday to the chaos of my husband to packing for a fishing trip. I laugh as I watch him try to stuff an assortment of clothes into a too small suitcase."You know we have bigger ones in the attic? Do you want me to go get one for you?" I ask my husband."No, I am going to make everything fit.""Whatever you say, but remember I offered to help. I'm going to go take a shower now." As I start to leave our room he tells me there is a message on the answering machine for me."Who called?""I'm not sure, I heard a woman's voice and part of the message. She said something about a friend from the past. Probably one of your past lovers," my husband jokes.He is always joking about things. I didn't think this was particularly funny. He knows that I only had one past female lover. It was a very long time ago in college. He does like to hear about it, but at times I think he wonders if I am sorry I never pursued that avenue of my sexuality. I go into the kitchen to play the message. I push play and I hear a woman's voice on the machine."Hi, Anna, it's Heather. I know it's been a long time but I wanted to give you a call."I have to push pause and sit down in a chair. My mind is suddenly thrown into overdrive. My husband unknowingly was right. It was a lover from my past. The only female lover I have ever had. Heather and I had been room mates our freshman year at college. We had gotten to know each other quite well during that year. I had never thought until meeting her that I had any bisexual feelings. She had changed all that. After spending a night with her, we had gone on to have a year long relationship. Not exclusive, I still had a boyfriend as did she. We just had fun together and with our boyfriends. It had lasted until I left college in the spring. Neither one of us returned to the same college. We each transferred to new schools for different reasons.We had promised to stay in touch, but that promise didn't last. We did have the obligatory Facebook connection. I knew where she lived and some basic information about her life. I was sorry that we had lost touch. Especially with some one who I was sure I had loved.I know on my part some of it was guilt. I always assumed I would attend college, graduate, work and then eventually marry (a man). The thought that I could give that up and choose a woman was something I never wanted to consider. It was easier after leaving school to let our connection slowly fade. Like the memories we shared. To be truthful, those memories never faded. I just tucked them away in a safe corner of my mind.I take a deep breath and push play again isvecbahis on the machine. Her message continues."I know it's been a long time and I just wanted to say hi and catch up. I am going to be in DC for business this week and thought if you were free, maybe we could meet for coffee." ( I hear her giggle on my answering machine)." I'm sorry, I forgot about you and coffee. No coffee, but maybe a quick lunch?" That sound alone (her giggle) brings a flood of memories pouring out of that safe corner where I store them.The rest of the message is a blur to me. Something about where she will be staying and her cell number.I sit and stare at the phone. Pushing save before I look up and see my husband standing in front of me."Who was that Anna? You look like you've seen a ghost.""Not a ghost, but it was a blast from my past. You'll never guess who that was?" I challenge my husband."I'm tired and still need to pack. No guessing games, just tell me sweetie." His hand rubs my back softly. Concern begins to show on his face."It was Heather, my room mate from school. I know I've told you about her before.""You mean 'the Heather', the one you experimented with before we met?""Yes, that Heather," I answer. My husband knows all about her. I had told him everything about our relationship after we met."What did she want?""She's in town this week and wants to get together and catch up." I answer, my voice almost a whisper.My husband pulls me up places a finger under my chin. He looks me in the eyes and asks me how I feel about meeting her."I really don't know. I have mixed feelings about it. I know she probably just wants to have a casual lunch and girl talk. It's not like she said 'hey let's get together and see if we still have feeling for each other'." I know from Facebook that Heather is also married and just like me has three grown boys. She also has her own business. She designs office spaces for companies and specializes in developing green work spaces. From her Facebook profile she looks happy in her life."You should see her. There's no harm in that and I know you have always felt bad about not keeping in touch," my husband reminds me. "Leave it alone for now and I'll let you help me pack. I'll also let you give me a good bye blow job too if you behave."Laughing, we leave the kitchen together, my husband swatting me on the ass. I finish helping him pack and I do give him that blow job he asked for. He returns the favor and we spend an enjoyable night pleasing each other. Eventually we fall asleep with the sheets tangled around us.In the morning I hear my husband get up. I had intended to get up and make him breakfast, but I start to fall back asleep. I do feel his lips on my forehead as he leaves. "I love you, have a good time and enjoy the quiet house. You should call Heather too, I think it would do you some good."I mumble something back at him and mouth the words, I love you and promptly fall deeply asleep.I awake mid morning, the sun shining on me through the windows. I feel a bit guilty about sleeping in but I shake it off. I have enough to do. Feeling guilty isn't something isveçbahis giriş I have much time for. I shower, dress and head into the kitchen to get some breakfast. As I walk by the phone I see the number one glowing red. It reminds me there is a saved message on the machine. Those stored memories start to fill my head again.I hit the play button. I write down Heather's number. I've made my decision, I am going to give her a call. I sit down and stare off into space. I remember how funny Heather was. She and I had shared the same sarcastic sense of humor. It often got us into trouble. She was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen. Dark, long, shiny hair and expressive dark eyes, with little laugh lines around them. Even at age nineteen she had those lines. In her pictures posted on Facebook, I could see they were still there, just a little more pronounced. Her hair was still a beautiful shade. It could be from a bottle, but it's still long, wavy and shiny. Mine however is no longer strawberry blond or long. I have a short bob and it's all grey/white. I often blame my sons for that. I went all gray by the time I was 35.Memories are a funny thing. I sit in my kitchen and look around at all that is familiar and comforting to me. As my memory corner opens, I feel a sudden stirring I haven't felt in years. At least not when thinking about another woman. A tingling is growing between my legs and I swear I can feel my panties beginning to dampen. In college just a hug from her or seeing her across campus had my body react this way.My fingers shake now as I push in her cell number. It rings four times and just as I am expecting to hear a voice recording Heather answers."Hello," she says.I almost drop the phone. She still has that slightly husky voice I remember so well. I compose myself and tell her it's Anna and that I got her message."Wonderful, I'm so glad you called me back. I know it's been forever but I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I thought I'd give it a shot and hope you'd give me a call back," Heather responds brightly."I'm in town now but don't having any meetings until Monday. How does your weekend look?""It just happens to be a free weekend for me. My husband just left for a week long fishing trip and the boys are away at college," I answer. A silly grin is slowly appearing on my face. I hadn't realized how much I had missed hearing her voice."That's great, would you like to meet in town for lunch or dinner? Whatever you want, I can make it work."On the spur of the moment, I ask her if she would like to come to my house. We used to love to cook together. I'm thinking maybe we can prepare a meal together, like old times.Heather readily agrees. "As long as it isn't macaroni and cheese or ramen noodles," she laughs.Sometimes that was all we could afford. I assure her we can have something a little more elevated."It's a deal, as long as you let me bring the drinks and dessert," she answers.I agree and give her my address and directions to the house. She says she'll be over at seven tonight. That gives me a few hours to shop and tidy up the house. I have isveçbahis yeni giriş this sudden desire to get a pedicure and manicure as well. You're just being silly, I tell myself. She's here to catch up, not for anything else. My mind though has begun it's travels down into the memory corner where I keep thoughts of her.My day flies by quickly. I finish up my errands. I buy steak. We never could afford beef while in school. Some potatoes and the makings for a Caesar salad finish off my shopping. Heather will be bringing dessert. I do find the time for a pedicure and manicure. I choose a deep purple for my nails. I remember it was Heather's favorite color.I clean up the house and get the dinner ingredients ready. I shower, taking more care than usual in shaving my legs and doing my hair and make up. I want to look good for her. I feel a bit like a teenager getting ready for a date. How silly I think. I'm a grown women with grown kids and a husband. Those butterflies just won't leave my stomach. I do some deep breathing and check myself in the mirror. My hair looks okay I decide. I'm wearing a short sweater dress with stay up stockings and grey suede boots. I think I look pretty good for someone on the other side of fifty.Promptly at seven I hear the door bell ring. Another deep breath in and I answer the door. I find Heather on my front doorstep with her hands full of packages. She really does look almost the same as I remember. A few more lines here and there. She is still as slender, maybe a little more so now. I give her an awkward half hug and invite her in.Laughing at my attempt at a hug, she drops the packages and gives me a proper hug. It feels good to have her arms around me again. She gives me a quick kiss on the lips and holds me at arms length to look at me."You look good. The short hair suits you and so does the color. I can't believe you had the good luck to get that shade of grey. I pay good money to keep mine this shade.""It is cheap to maintain and looks blond so I decided to keep it," I tell her.Any nervousness melts away and soon we are in the kitchen prepping dinner and chatting away like old friends. Heather fills me in on her life and I do the same. We talk about that year in school and our boyfriends at the time. We discuss for awhile why we stay in touch with some people and not others.We talk all through dinner. I cook the steaks on the grill with the potatoes and Heather makes the salad. She's brought two bottles of the Proseco I like to drink. She has also brought chocolate mousse for dessert, another of my favorites. I'm touched that she remembers those things, I thank her."Oh don't thank me, I didn't really remember. I just went on your Facebook page and found some of the things you had listed you liked."At that revelation we start to laugh. It's a good comfortable laugh between two friends. We did have many nights in school where we laughed until we cried, tears just running down our cheeks. It feels right.As we finish dessert, we stop talking and Heather reaches out her hand to mine. I let it settle into hers. She brings it to her lips, turns it over and kisses the palm. I can't say I'm startled. If I am honest with myself, it is something I have craved over the years. Her touch again on my skin."I know we are both happily married and settled in our lives Anna.