How is to be Bi-curious

How is to be Bi-curiousTo make it clear for some people that do not clearly understand. Some of us we really love women. We love every inch of their bodies - anything that makes the look women: Their round chest, their big gluts, their cute face, their feminine hamstrings etc. Staring a hot woman will turn me instantly on, in a way I cannot control my self.I realised that when I was very young. Topped up with testosterone at that age, I spread my cums all over magazines and/or television shows that they have nothing to do with sex. Watching a girl/woman with nice clothes was enough. On the other hand I disliked porn magazines or movies. I had my friends talking about porn magazines or movies, they even didn't mind to share it with me but I to me it was gross.I didn't know why by that time but now I can see the reason.While studying in university I met my first girlfriend. We were young, we loved each other, our crush was beyond our imagination and that resulted in glorious sex. I was very lucky to be her boyfriend because she was pretty, fit, redhead and full of energy. However our sex life was nothing more than the casual bedroom story. After a while we stop having sex so often. In the end we break up for selfish reasons. That made me to start experience my self with online story reading, chatting, dating.I have to admit here that I was happy with simple stories, of course I liked threesome and orgies but just a man and a woman having sex is quite interesting to me. Once I found a story about a man having sex with a milf. The woman was cheating on her husband with a teenager. I do not know if it was true or not but storytelling was done right so I was wanking while reading story, and watching Lucy Pinder hot boobs. As the story went on, her husband came to room only to find someone else is fucking his wife. At this point with cuckold fantasy I was ready to cum but I hold it up only to finish reading this good story. I do not remember exactly how was written, but when I realised that man fucked the teenager in front of his wife I could not hold my self from cumming. I never had that amount of sperm coming out of my body before.For weeks I was reading same story over and over while staring at naked women. That made me wonder if I am gay or not. I've start seeking some shemale porn but not very happy with their masculine faces. I watched some gay porn but not really liked. Watched some bi threesome but still did not turn me. I only knew that: I love big boobs and butts.After many attempts to meet a hot girl, I met my 2nd girlfriend. Our relationship was meant to be for one night but after seeing what she is able to do, I did want to let her go. Of course she made me realise the looks does not really matters but the attitude. My ex was prettier for sure but this girl was a real treasure. Together we watched porn for hours and shared our fantasies. We even bought sex toys. One day that I will never forget, I told her about the story with the couple and the teenager, as we having sex. That made her horny. Together we came to understand that we really need a 2nd dick as we are fucking. She did not hesitate to give her dildo in my mouth. I licked with pleasure and she enjoyed looking at me. We both came, moaning with pleasure. We took a break for few minutes and we start talking about fantasy again. As we were wanking each other she asked me If I am ok to take it to my ass. I did not refuse, I was sooo carried away. In those 2 hours we were wanking, she taught me how to control my ass hole and take it inside. After a lot of lubricant and long hot conversation she had an orgasm, repeating same phrase three times: "Oh Man, is so deep inside you". Yes, the best sex of my life. (if you are reading this, I still love you for these moments. And I love you :*)We wanted to improve sex life. We were having hot chat with our friendly couples, but never something turned into orgy. Society in my homeland was not prepared for threesome and swinger clubs was not a thing back then. We were looking for trusted person but noone was around. We made account on various sites, with our real names hidden, looking for the perfect man/couple but we could only find scums who were trying to retrieve our naked pictures or assholes.We were wondering if that perfect third person is out there. Most of the guys you meet online they only care to fuck. But we wanted someone to enjoy having sex with both of us. Someone that will really appreciate us for sharing with him our bed. It seems every man that has a dick on this planet believes that he is the best. Really this planet is filled with alpha. Well we did not want an idiot on our sex life, and we abandoned our plans for threesome/foursome. After years of good sex, we had to live apart. (I still love you)Every woman i had after this knows my fetishes and really enjoyed me playing with a dildo. Every single one of them. But noone wants me to really she me playing with a man. And so, I had to find someone I really want to play with.Dating someone online always being a challenge. I always have to hide my id because I do not know how my friends will take it. Or maybe I want to be treated like a str8 and having others learning that I am bi-curious scares me. None the less, I had my two failed tries to be with a guy. I have to admit, I was very horny and I was really desperate for someone to wank with.The first one was divorced middle age str8 guy. We met online and had some hot chat and so I gave him a chance. We went to a pub for single people, of course miles away from my home because I didn't want people to know me. We agreed before we met that the reason to have a drink together is to search for any single woman hanging around and have threesome - If we couldn't find any, we can do some stuff together. But that man was having 0 patient. As soon as we order our drinks he start talking about things he wants from me, things that we could do together. He couldn't hold himself and made people around (mostly men) staring at us. I warned him to stop, paid for my drink and left himThe second one was a gay fishing out str8 men. We met online and chatted for a while watching porn. This time I did not want to risk it and we dated to his house. We sat at his sofa and kept a distance, watching some of our favourite porn. Everything was alright until he wanted to change it to gay porn. I did not really felt comfortable with that but I said, let's give it a try. Things became more weird when he came close to me. He was trying to kiss me and I after I explained to him that this is not what I want right now he told me that he is gay and only that will turn him on.I do not have anything against gay people and I do not have any limits in anything has to do sex, but, you gay people pretending you like women to lure bi/str8, you are just lame.To this day I believe a non-sex content picture is hotter than porn. One reason is because female bodies really shine on photos. The other reason is much of porn includes dicks and is disturbing. That is because I simple do not like male bodies. Having bi fantasies does not mean a handsome men will turn me on. Guys do not seem to get that.I believe, that I love so much women and their bodies, that just fucking them is not enough for me. What will complete me is to find someone to make me feel when they getting fucked. This is why I love body building, I want to have nice gluts to look like a woman. This is why I wear girlish underwear and wanking and this is why I prefer female body builders over men. Many things I've done things for women I love and I can do more.I am really willing to find a man who things the same way as me. Or a couple that they will invite me as a third person who will respect both of them and not as bull.My fantasy is to be with a guy and because we do not have a woman to satisfy both of us, we end up wanking each other or trying to give pleasure to each other. As for threesome my fantasy is to be with a friendly couple and after a lot of alcohol we end up trying to satisfy each other. Sex for me is to see pleasure on my partner(s) eyes. That makes me cum