The Firefighter

?Ok boys! Let's go!?Her crew is very good. They have been together for the last two years and have gone through some tough fights. The whole team of fourteen are in top shape. From twenty-seven to thirty-seven years old. Tammy is right in the middle at thirty-two, but she?s the chief. In the beginning, there were rumblings about her ability to lead a team, but those guys were put in their place as she came out on top in everything they threw at her.Tammy used to be a pretty thing that the boys thought that her cuteness was too much to be a serious chief. Her ambitious goals when she was first hired on was a private joke to the rest of the crew.Well, shit happens.It was four years ago that they were called to a garage fire in a residential area. They were a bit too casual about it as it was only a stand-alone residential single-car garage. Tammy went in and the meth lab exploded. She was in full gear, but the helmet wasn?t buckled properly, and it blew off with the blast. Her whole head was severely burned, but the guys were right there to extinguish her down.Her face got the brunt of the blast and it sustained third-degree burns. With the quickness of the guys there, her eyelids were burned but survived. Her ears are mostly there. Her hair came back nasty, but she wants to keep some because her head looks horrible with all the scarred skin on it. So she keeps a butch cut. The blonde hair covers most of the bad areas. Her cheeks and her mouth got the worst of it. It almost looks like a deformity as her cheeks have sunken and her lips are just not there. Her mouth opens and she can smile a bit, but the skin is tight. She looks a bit like the stone guy in Fantastic Four around her mouth. Her chin and throat are all marked with third-degree burns. Vitamin E oil is helping a lot to soothe and restore her skin, but it?s not doing it fast enough according to Tammy.Carl?s driving this time and Tammy barks out the address and puts it into the GPS. They are off with three trucks screaming out of the hall. The big city has installed the new draw gates that come down for the trucks to leave the station at full speed out of the hall. Almost everyone stops for the trucks. Almost. Three months ago one ignorant jerk figured he could beat the fire trucks out of the garage and went around the dropped barricades. The driver of the firetruck smiled hit the back corner of the BMW and kept going to the call out. Now the guys are looking for stupid drivers to nail.Tammy yells over to Carl as they head out and no stupid drivers pull out, ?Better luck next time!?Carl laughs as he was thinking the same thing.The five-car pile-up takes forever to clean up as there is a fatality with this one. The cops and coroner have to come out, and that made it a long afternoon. Two of the cars needed the jaws of life to extract the drivers and one passenger. All are a bit down as they had to free the guy without his foot attached to him still. The guy was a professional dancer and bawled the whole time he was extracted and put in the ambulance.They get back to the station and they are all beat. Time to clean up the tools of the trade. The guys pull the stuff out that was used and clean all the dirt and blood off. Half the team is excused as they have family. That?s the excuse tonight, but it doesn?t happen like that often.After clean up, Carl, the lead driver today, asks Tammy, ?Beer??Tammy nods, ?Yeah, sure. Let me check my voice mail first.?She heads to her office and puts it on speakerphone as she looks for notes on her desk. Well, it looks like everything quietened down after their last call out. Nothing in the voice mail either.Five guys and Tammy head to the bar. They are in their casual clothes now, and just a bunch of friends. Well, more just acquaintances. They go out maybe once every couple of months, but usually, most have their own lives after work.They sit around and clink their bottles to one another?s, and nod.Tammy says, ?Good job today guys.? And they go over some things that need some attention.Tammy notices a guy at the next table sitting by himself. It seems he?s eavesdropping on their conversation and Tammy turns to the guy.She waits for him to look at her, but says after a bit, ?Hey Buddy. Do you mind? We?re kind of talking shop here. Not for the faint of heart.?The guy looks towards her and smiles and nods, ?Naw, I don?t mind. I?m just waiting. Go ahead. It sounds like you guys are a pretty close bunch.?He puts his hand out a bit to the side of Tammy, ?Ross Bowman. My buddies used to call me Bo.?Tammy looks at the guy, still looking a bit beside her and she takes his hand, ?Tammy Arbuckle, station three chief.?He smiles and turns his head a bit more towards her.She asks, ?Your Buddies used to call you Bo??His smile goes down, ?Yeah, I was the lucky one. I lost my sight and my buddies lost their lives. Nobody calls me Bo anymore.?One of the firefighters gets up, ?Gotta get home to the little missus.?That seems to get everyone going.Bo smiles as he hears a couple of the guys, ?Later, Bo!?Tammy sits there still twisted in her chair towards Bo.She watches the guy a moment and he says under his breath, ?Shit, I can still smell her.?Tammy softly giggles, ?That?s because I?m still here.?Bo gasps and holds his heart, ?Oh shit! You scared the crap out of me!?Tammy giggles now, and gets up to sit at Bo?s table.He smiles as he smells her closer now.He leans back, ?I?m sorry, this blind thing is fairly new to me. I haven?t ventured out much in the last year or so. I wanted to get a brew and convinced my nurse to bring me down here.?Tammy watches as he slowly reaches for his drink. She moves the glass to his hand and he smiles and picks it up. He uses both hands, with one on the top rim to feel where his lips should go. Tammy watches as the guy struggles with a bit too much tipped into his mouth.Bo says, ?Shit. So much for first impressions for the beautiful young lady.?Tammy has to smile, ?You're doing fine. Here, let me help you a bit.??No, no. I?ve got this.?He sets his glass down and it tips off the edge of the table and crashes to the floor.Tammy watches him for his response, and softly giggles when he lifts his hands up and drops them to the table, ?Table?s https://escortium.org clear!?They chuckle together as the barmaid comes with a mop and broom to clean up the mess.Tammy?s still watching the guy and he settles back in his chair.He says, ?So, you?re chief. How?d a pretty thing like you get to be chief? You can?t be thirty yet.?She smiles, ?A shit load of hard work. Yes, I?m more than thirty years old.?He smiles, ?Not by much. Where?s your boyfriend? Or husband??She?s quiet a moment, ?You sure ask a lot of questions.?He says, ?Yeah. Been cooped up too long. I don?t get many people coming by to chat with. Come here often??She smiles, ?No, not at all. Maybe every couple of months the guys and I will come for a beer.?They chat a bit more about where they are from and Tammy gets up, ?I have to go now. I?ll see you around.?He chuckles and she catches what she said, ?Oh shit. Now I?m sorry. That just came out.?He smiles, ?That?s OK. I couldn?t say the same thing though. But I enjoyed your company. I also hope to? um? find you around again.?Tammy smiles, ?How about I come by here next Tuesday, you know, if I don?t have a call out? Would that work for you??He smiles big, ?Oh man. I?ll make it work, Tammy.? They part with a handshake and she walks out of the bar. The big calloused hand is noted, but there is more to the guy than just a farmer or construction worker. She heads to her car and goes to her apartment. She used to put on a ball cap and sunglasses, but now she doesn?t care what others think of her looks. She just ignores the stares.Tammy is always aware of her looks now, and the way others look at her. She always sees the stares. Always sees someone looking at her a bit longer than normal. She?s always self-conscious of the first impressions of people. Everyone. Even for a split second, even if she?s talked to them before, they all have that hesitation, that microscopic look of disgust at her face.All except for today. Bo just sat there when Tammy turned towards him. She didn?t know he was blind at first, but his look was as if she was normal. Sure, the long timers at the station house are used to her look now, but even some of the guys still react to her looks when caught off guard. But Bo just smiled at her. Introduced himself like she was normal. She saw it and felt it. She didn?t pick up any repulsive vibes from him. Of course, he didn?t, but the feeling of being unconditionally accepted. Sure, she was a bit gruff with the guy. She was going for the shock factor too as she turned around. The guy just sat there and listened, then smiled at her. This almost shocked her in a sense.Then she thinks of Bo as a potential date. Maybe getting together with him. They?re a ways off from that right now. Then she?s pissed off as she thinks of some of the comments from others. Cruel comments. Like, ?she could only get a date if she had a bag over her head?, or ?if it?s pitch black out?, or ?if the guy is blind?.Now here she is. Attracted to a blind guy. He is everything normal, even good-looking. He never got up, so she didn?t see his height or build. He was wearing that sports jacket and behind the table. But shit, really? A fucking blind guy?She has a tear as the cruel words come to reality. She shakes her head and rethinks the idea of meeting with Bo again. When others find out she?s interested in a blind guy they will laugh, ?told you so!? Forget it. Bo was just a chat. Movin? on.Tammy focuses her frustrations out on her workout routine. She turned the master bedroom in her apartment into a workout room with an advanced Bowflex machine in the center. There?s still room for her to use loose weights and jump rope. The master bath is handy for a quick shower right after a good workout.The weekend passes like normal. Friday afternoon she stops at the small grocery store to pick up a few items for her weekend alone. Not that there?s much of a weekend with shift work. Sometimes she gets inspired to go for a drive out of the city. Tammy had no problems getting dates. The guys were lined up around the block to take her out. She went out with many during school, and even after she graduated. There was a potential suitor just before the accident. Or ?incident? they call it. There was no accident.Now here she is. Thinking of meeting the predicted blind guy again. She remembers the comment of dating a blind guy and who it came from. The guy is not on their team anymore as he wanted to leave as soon as she became chief. She had no problems with him going to another station. Go. Asshole.But word would go out. She can even picture the guy laughing at his predictions coming true. Tammy gets worked up about it and adds another rep to her workout to get the frustrations out of her.After her shower she runs her fingers through her hair and muses, ?I wonder how it would look a bit longer.? But then shakes her head at the thought.It still would be on this hideous head. Big deal if the hair was flowing beautifully down her shoulders.She?s heard it before. Maybe read something about it. A guy in the military had a burnt face also, and he wished he just lost an arm or a leg. That seemed to be more noble than being stuck behind such a horrible mask of disfigurement.Then she thinks of Bo?s subtle hitting on her. She remembers the feeling of being attracted to a boy. The way they shyly flirted with her. This was close to that. Bo seems to be a sweet guy. She really did like the feeling as they chatted for a few minutes.Poor Tammy?s mind is all over the place. She even thinks of when the time comes to tell him of her disfigurement, her horrible face. She thinks of his look when his fingers actually touch her face. She can see it already. The same look as all the others. Maybe even more so as she?s held off on telling him right upfront. Maybe he?ll feel deceived by her holding out on telling him. Maybe she won?t go that far. Maybe she?ll just keep it a friendly relationship.Shit. Maybe she should just forget about the whole damn thing. Fucking Bo. What the hell is he thinking anyways? By the time Tuesday afternoon rolls around, she?s almost excited to go to the bar again to see Bo. She?s so nervous even Carl asks her if she?s ok.She looks up at him standing by the door to her office, ?Yeah. I?m fine. What makes you think something?s up??He shrugs, ?I just thought that you were a bit preoccupied. That?s all.?She shakes her head, ?Everything?s normal.?He smiles at the station?s common saying. Everything is so far from normal as they get calls for all sorts of things and at all hours of the day.Tammy?s on day shift this week. Seven am to seven pm. The station is everyone?s second home. There?s no other females on the team so she has a room to herself. It?s more of a bunk with a small shower and toilet, but life is in the common areas. The kitchen and lounge are the same room, and the gym is towards the back of the hall.It?s just after seven and she sneaks away to the bar. She makes sure she?s not followed and turns in the door. She smiles and softly walks up to where Bo is sitting. She watches and only waits a few seconds for his smile to come up.He sniffs deep as he points his nose up, ?Ah. A breath of fresh air has arrived.?Tammy giggles and sits down, ?Hi Bo.?He smiles big, ?Hi Tammy. Glad you could make it. Thanks.?Tammy asks, ?For what??He says, ?For making it. I didn?t really expect you to come back. You had an exit strategy, and you could have just said you went out on a call.?He smiles again, ?But you?re here. Thank you.?She smiles back and orders a beer. They chat superficially for an hour and it seems a good time to part.He says, ?I had my nurse drop me off here hoping you would escort me to my home. I live only three blocks from here. Would you do me the honor of walking me home??Tammy smiles at the request, but hesitates, ?Where?s your nurse? Why isn?t she ready to take you home??Bo chuckles, ?He?s not really my type.?Then he mimics a deep voice, ?Hey Bo, get your ass home. Let?s go.?Tammy laughs and stands up. Bo hears her chair get pushed out and stands himself. The guy is about six foot three inches tall. The baggy jacket is pretty much filled out, in a good way.Tammy is wondering how this will work as Bo smiles, ?I?m clutching at straws here, but I?m wondering where you are.?Tammy giggles and puts out her hand to help guide him around the table. He stops and she lets him go. She smiles as he presents his arm to the lady. She takes it, and he instructs how the walk will go.First he pulls out his wallet and pays the tab for both of them.Tammy says, ?That?s not necessary.?He smiles and says nothing as they walk out. He bumps a bit into the door jamb and lesson one starts.He says, ?Bill, my nurse, has given me a few tips for me to not walk into things. There is a reason for me to extend my arm to you. Your hand gives me direction to what I have to avoid. Ok, now move your fingertips like you wanted me to turn towards you.?She pulls her fingers on his arm to indicate for him to turn. He turns square in front of her and she waits a moment.He chuckles, ?That was pretty severe message. You only have to move your fingers a bit. But if you want me straight in front of you, you know what to do next time.?She softly giggles and he smiles and goes beside her again.He says, ?If you were to bring your fingers under my arm and tap two or three times, I would know we are going up some stairs. I would let you lead and I would pay attention to every time you take a step up. You don?t have to count and tell me. I?ll follow your lead.?They walk slowly along and they are coming up to a curb to step down in the roadway. She tries her new knowledge and taps once gently on top of his arm that she?s holding onto.He smiles, ?What??She says, ?Curb down onto the street.?He chuckles, ?Very good. Thank you.?She giggles and they cross. She?s a bit late with the tap under his arm and he catches his toe on the curb and stumbles a bit.She catches him, ?Sorry! Sorry. My fault entirely.?He smiles as he straightens up, ?We just have to get used to each other. Not entirely your fault. Not at all.?She sighs and turns beside him again. They start walking in silence and she?s wondering where they are going.She puts it together, ?You know this route pretty good.?He smiles, then chuckles, ?Every day now I?m at the bar. Ever since I met you, I come down at about seven to hear and smell if you?re there, or have been there. I?m getting used to the walk now.?He stops in the middle of the sidewalk and turns to her, ?Three fifty-seven.?Tammy looks over his shoulder and smiles, ?You?re damn good. Right outside your door.?He smiles and doesn?t move. She looks up at him as they stand square in front of each other.He softly says, ?There?s something about you. I sense it as people walk past. Care to elaborate??Tammy?s shocked. She never thought that it would be picked up on.She softly says, ?No. Not now. Maybe later.?He says, ?You have to be a tough cookie to be chief of a bunch of macho fire fighting guys. Shit, you have to be tough as nails. But I sense a soft side of you as well. I sure hope I meet you again soon. I quite enjoyed my time with you.?She pats his arm and steps back a bit.He softly says, ?Thank you for walking me home, Tammy.?She smiles, ?You?re welcome, Bo.?He turns and walks into a garbage can.He stumbles and mumbles to himself, ?Blind as a bat??Tammy giggles and helps point him in the right direction. He says thanks again.Tammy is grinning as she makes her way back to the station.She?s paid attention to as people walk past her. They quiet down and then sometimes there?s whispering behind her back. She?s noticed it for a long time already. But Bo picked it up right away. She?s wondering how long she can keep up the secret from him. Or even if she should keep it a secret from him.The next day is coming to an end and she looks up at the clock. It?s five to seven in the evening and she wonders if Bo is there again. He said he?s been coming down every day to see if she?s been there and smiles at the thought of being pursued.Again Carl looks in on her and sees her goofy grin. This time he comes in and closes the door. She tries to look perturbed at the guy for just barging into her office, but he sees right through it.He smiles, ?Bo??She looks at him a long time before she sighs heavily, and leans back in her chair. She stretches her arms over her head looks at Carl, and nods slightly.Carl asks, ?He know??Again she?s a long time before she answers, ?He knows something?s up. But no.?Carl nods and thinks a moment, ?Tammy, you're like a sister to me. You know that Jill and I will take you home for dinner any time. You?re like family. I?ve offered, and let you choose, but I dearly love you. You know, like a sister.?She waits for him and he sighs now, ?I just don?t want to see you hurt. I saw it before, you getting your hopes up, when you went out yesterday. Please hon. If I can help, let me know. OK??She smiles and nods, ?Thanks, Bro.?He smiles too and just for a second she remembers watching a movie with John Goodman as a pilot and his goofy look. That would be Carl to a T. Then she would think of herself as the girl, what?s her name. She thinks it?s Holly Hunter, and the guy, her boyfriend, Dreyfus, as Bruce. Dreyfus died and Bruce is gone. So far it?s working out similar to the movie. Even this tall new guy as the young pilot taking over Holly?s heart, Bo is stepping in now. She sighs at the thought, and Carl walks out when she has no words for him. Again she?s torn on going to the bar.It gets the best of her and she tries to sneak out again.This time Carl is in the bar right across the room from Bo sitting there in plain view. Tammy looks pissed at Carl and he sits there and bounces in chuckles. He waves to her and she looks towards Bo.His smile is up and he asks softly, ?Miss me??She stops to think about it a moment and wonders, ?Exactly what does he smell on me that is so evident??She smiles, ?Mmmaybe.?Now he chuckles as she looks at Carl?s goofy grin still. At least Carl?s alone.Tammy pulls out a chair and sits. She brings her hand to his and holds the top of his knuckles a moment like a handshake. More like an intimate touch. He moves his thumb to hold her hand a moment, then let's go as she pulls away.He asks, ?Who?s the guy??Again Tammy is floored at the guy?s perception on what?s going on.She sighs and smirks and has a quick glance back at Carl, ?He?s like a pesky big brother. He knew I was up to something. He?s pissing me off.?Bo chuckles, ?So, fire him.?Tammy laughs and looks at Carl and makes a gun with her fingers and makes like she?s shooting him.Carl laughs out loud now and yells as he gets up to leave, ?Later Bo!? And leaves without a response.Now Bo laughs and holds open his hand to her. She giggles softly and looks at the hand. He pulls it away before it?s awkward.He asks, ?You blushing??Tammy giggles softly, ?You damn well know I?m blushing. Ass.?His eyebrows hike, ?What??She giggles again and kicks him under the table.He cringes, ?Ooh, didn?t see that coming.?She softly giggles again settles back and looks at the guy. He sits there and just waits and listens.She softly says, ?Sorry.?Again his eyebrows hike, ?Why??She shakes her head, ?Oh man. I sound like a weak little girl, all the time apologizing. Sorry for calling you an ass, and sorry for kicking you.?He smiles and softly says, ?I think I like the little girl coming out of you. I bet it?s been a long time since she?s been out.She watches him. She can tell he?s thinking of another line to give her. She smiles and waits.He says nothing.She says, ?Yeah, it?s been a while since anyone has heard my giggle, including me. Seems you just bring it out of me. I have to be the hard-ass at work, and then there is no one at home to giggle with. Not that I?m looking for a giggle at home.?He smiles, ?What are you looking for? At home??Now a tear starts, ?Don?t. Don?t start. The one I giggled with left me all of a sudden. There is a hell of a lot of pain there still.?His smile goes down, ?I hear not only your words, but your heart. I?m sorry for treading on your heart, but I?m not sorry for opening it up.?She asks, ?What the hell is that supposed to mean??He?s a moment, then softly says, ?To let in someone into your heart you have to open it. There is a hell of a lot of pain in there that has to come out so another will fit in. Whether it?s me, or another. For you to move on, you have to open your heart.?She sobs, ?No. Not now. It hurts too much.?He softly smiles and puts out his hand again. This time he holds it there longer. Again she does not take his hand.He says, ?I think we may have something. I feel a connection somehow. I would be willing to wait for you and help you through your pain. It sounds like it was with another guy, but there must have been something to trigger a sudden departure.?Tammy says nothing now.He sighs and pulls back his hand, and smiles, ?I look forward to our next chat, but I must go now.?Tammy asks, ?You need a hand to get home??"No, I think I?ve got it figured out. I just have to mind the damn garbage cans.?She smiles at his stumble yesterday. More his comment.Tammy watches him go, and then picks up and leaves too. Again she?s in deep thought about his words. Open her heart for the crap to come out to let others in. Well shit. The crap will always be there. How the hell can the crap leave?She drives into her parking spot under her apartment and turns off the engine. She sits there and the tears start. She sobs, then the torrent of tears comes. Oh, she?s missed the personal touch. Oh, how she yearns for a man?s touch. Sure, she gets high fives and a slap on the back from her guys, but that is macho stuff. Not the loving touches Bruce used to give her. She cries more now at the loss of any real close friends. They pissed her off when they wouldn?t come around, then she pissed them off too. They don?t want me anymore, I don?t want them anymore either. Shit. That didn?t work. Now she?s thinking of all the shit and bad attitude she?s had towards the ones that made a half-assed effort to keep befriending her. She thought that they were just patronizing her. She thought that they were just hanging around to look at the freak.It wasn?t much longer and no one came around anymore. She turns her focus on the job. She works out harder and smarter. If she failed, she got pissed with herself and went to her home gym to train for the next few weeks until she could pass that part of the testing. Eventually, she blows through her physical tests and starts on the theory. She studied and wrote her exams, and again flew through the courses she needed for being chief. But now. That?s all done and she?s all alone. And worse yet, she?s lonely.